Love, it probably one of the most widely used phrases in the English language, and I would suggest in many others. In the world around us you can love your car, lunch, wife, book, child, new friend, pet dog, house, and so on..so obviously it means many things to many people.
In the Bible, love has perhaps a clearer path, and in fact, with greater importance. In the New Testament the three primary Ancient Greek words for love, frequently highlighted for their distinct meanings, are Agape (unconditional/divine love), Philia (deep friendship/brotherly love), and Eros (romantic/passionate love). These terms illustrate the multifaceted nature of affection, ranging from selfless devotion to intense personal attraction.
- Agape (ἀγάπη): The highest form of love, often described as unconditional, selfless, and sacrificial, such as God’s love for humanity or love for a stranger. (Note: To add to this Jesus also talked about the importance of knowing God, and in the context of the word it is like the knowing of your wife or husband, ie. an intimate understanding and relationship).
- Philia (φιλία): Brotherly love or deep friendship, characterized by loyalty, shared experiences, and mutual respect among equals.
- Eros (ἔρως): Passionate, romantic, and physical love, often associated with desire and intensity.
While these three are commonly cited, other Greek terms for love exist, such as Storge (familial affection) and Ludus (playful love).
This is something you have no doubt heard from time to time. The following very familiar passage is perhaps the one that provides us with the correct emphasis.
Jesus answered him, “The first of all the commandments is: Hear, O Israel, the LORD our God, the LORD is one. And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ This is the first commandment. And the second, like it, is this: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” (Mark 12:29-31)
The Ancient Greek word used for love here is agape. Importantly this is the word used by Jesus. He is of course quoting from the Pentateuch, and the law given to Moses, such as in Deuteronomy 6:4 and Leviticus 19:18.
“Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one! You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. (Duet. 6:4)
You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the children of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the LORD. (Lev. 19:18)
Here the Ancient Hebrew word for love is is ahava (אהבה) or its verb form ahav (אהב) (or .‘ahah’ or ‘ahed’ in Strong’s Concordance. It speaks of having affection for (sexually or otherwise), to love, lover, like a friend, beloved, to give of oneself, and is translated in the KJV version of the Bible as love, lover, friend, beloved, like, lovely, loving etc. This term signifies an active commitment, loyalty, and tangible action rather than just a feeling, rooted in the idea of “giving” of oneself. It indicates a deliberate choice to care for the well-being of another, even strangers.
Jesus, who is God and who is the word of God, then defines it further with greater clarity, and context, when in the New Testament He reminds us of these commands, and lives them.
Because God tells us this is the first and second commandment it seems appropriate to focus on these!
As only God can do, He actually highlights three persons that need to be loved in these two commandments, that is Him, your neighbour, and yourself. And depending on your background, the first two seem a little easier to understand, the last takes some deeper reflection. For in the context of the word ‘agape’, what does it mean to love yourself? It is the benchmark for how you love your neighbour.
But first, loving God. One amazing passage that Jesus uses to emphasise what this looks like is found in Luke 7. In the following passage the word Jesus uses for love is agape.
Then He turned to the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave Me no water for My feet, but she has washed My feet with her tears and wiped them with the hair of her head. You gave Me no kiss, but this woman has not ceased to kiss My feet since the time I came in. You did not anoint My head with oil, but this woman has anointed My feet with fragrant oil. Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little.”Then He said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.”And those who sat at the table with Him began to say to themselves, “Who is this who even forgives sins? Then He said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you. Go in peace.” (Luke 7:44-50)
This extravagant love shows both deep devotion, sacrifice, acknowledgement, and connectedness. While Mary’s display is wonderful, and perhaps challenging, the best model of loving God is in Jesus. Devoted, obedient, sacrificing, focussed, assured, prioritised, eternal, confident, and humble.
When it comes to loving your neighbour it is hard to go past the parable of the Good Samaritan, and if that is not enough of a stretch Jesus throws in that famous passage that includes ‘turn the other cheek’, and is all about sacrificial love even of your enemies. It is also trusting God in all this.
I think it helps to reflect again on the example of Jesus, ultimately showing His love for us by dying for us, shedding His blood, that we may be reunited with our Heavenly Father, and spend eternity with Him. He stopped for the one, went out of His way for the few, and patiently nurtured an eclectic and often unbelieving followers. For God so loved the world He gave His son, who set His face like flint with the task, so that we were forgiven. This famous verse (John 3:16) uses ‘agape’ as its descriptor of love!
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God, for God is love. In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. (1 John 4:7-11)
Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness in the day of judgment; because as He is, so are we in this world. There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. We love Him because He first loved us. (1 John 4:17-19)
As the Bible reveals in 1 John 4, this love for God, our neighbours/enemies, is made possible because He first loved us. He is love, and as by His Spirit God abides in us (those who believe in Christ Jesus), so we can do so likewise. In essence as made in the image of God we have this part of Him enabled in us, and as He lives in us as believers in Christ He doubles down on this capability, and as Romans 5 reveals, He even pours it into us.
Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. (Romans 5:5)
This is very comforting, as the measure of our love reveals our measure of Him in us.
So with us this in mind what does it mean to love ourselves. Firstly, like we are to love God as He loves us (with our whole being), and love our neighbour as He loves them, surely it means loving yourself as God loves you. This is the high benchmark.
In some respect the measure by which you do this in practice is often informed by how you feel you are loved by others, or as you might mentally ascent to from our point of view of knowledge, but your actions may not confirm! The absence, or perceived absence, of your earthly parents love makes you no less worthy to be loved.
For myself, there is also the concern of not want to be one of those who is, as we say, ‘full of themselves’. Putting themself first, prideful, and clearly ‘in love with themselves’.
However, in all these I, and maybe we, can be missing the point, and perhaps using my past miss what it means to truly love myself as God does. For not thinking you are worthy because you did not feel you were good enough as a child due to what you felt or experience, may incorrectly make you feel unworthy of love (to its fuller extent), and so why love yourself.
Or the prideful display of some mislead us, so we miss what it truly means to humbly, and gracefully, to accept yourself as you are now…not what you think you should be or become. Not based on performance and achievement, but based simply on the knowledge that God loves you, died for you just as you are, desires deeply to be with you forever, and has dreams and goals for you beyond your imagination.
While we may accept we are a son or daughter of God, and even the knowledge that He counted us worthy to die for us, it might be possible that we/I do not accept the fuller expression of His love for us…probably because of my perception of how others see me or love me. This is not where to start. As human beings it is how we ‘be’ with God, ourselves, and our neighbours, that is most important. From this we do. We are first human beings not human doings. But society, family, media, or other inputs would try and make us think it is what we do, our image, our successes, or actions that determines who we are, not how we loved, not on who God made us to be.
Most of us would know the famous verses from 1 Corinthians 13, where the Apostle Paul defines (agape) love, and its preeminence even above faith and hope. For me, these seems to be a wonderful way of not just looking on how we treat us, but also reflecting on how we are to love ourselves. So in the following as we read through this famous passage, which we (like many) quoted at our wedding, I have inserted insights in brackets that I have been reflecting on as to how this agape love applies to myself.
Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing. (In other words Brian, love is not about your performance for me or others, likewise let that not determine you love for yourself)
Love suffers long and is kind (be kind to yourself, patient with your life and mistakes – God is. Like the Lord cares for you, care for yourself); love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely (this is not about being puffed up, parading around like a peacock, this is about being humble, assured in God’s love for you, and knowing you are loved), does not seek its own (assured of love, you prefer others), is not provoked (don’t stay angry with yourself, going to war against yourself because of your failing or where you feel you have fallen short; forgive yourself, just as God has, and continue to love you), thinks no evil (think kind thoughts towards yourself, shut down those thoughts that are damaging to you, and not for your good); does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth (don’t pile onto yourself when you sin or make mistakes, forgive yourself, and rejoice in the knowledge you know the truth and can live it..by God’s grace. Celebrate when you live well); bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things (believe in yourself, and what God can do through you, have hope for your future knowing so much possibility exists for you. Be patient with yourself when you fall short of your goals, keep going, don’t give up, you are loved. Give yourself grace and mercy).
Love never fails (God never fails to love you, do give up on yourself, love yourself always for God calls you worthy to be loved and you are). But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away. (Don’t let your failings determine your love, or when you fail to love yourself, know you are human, but you also have God on your side, and He will perfect your love for yourself in due season)
When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face (You know love, but be comforted by the knowledge there is so much more than you know, so you can never stop loving yourself more until you are perfected in Christ. When you fail in your love for yourself, just keep loving yourself more just as Jesus loves you). Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.
And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love. (Your love for yourself is to mirrors God’s love for you, eternal. Remember love as Jesus loves you, in the way He defines love, in all its fullness. Do not love yourself based on the circumstances you face in this world or your ‘performance’, rather based on His divine love unhindered by anything you or others can throw at it). (1 Corinthians 13:13)
In the end, love yourself as Christ loved Himself. Reflect on His love for our Father in heaven, His assurance of who He is, and the Father’s love for Him, and how He showed His love to those around Him, to us, and to Himself. This is our high calling, to love as He did.
Kingdom Blog 